The Night Before The Wedding
by LightningFuryStrike13
Summary: Mrs. Bennett was a open and at times even vulgar woman who had little care for propriety. Shouldn't have surprised anyone that she was verbose in explaining the marriage bed to her daughters.


Disclaimer: I don't own nor do I have any right to the works of Jane Austen.

I wonder at fan fiction writers who always have Mrs. Bennett describe the wedding night the way they do. It's always the same. A vague description of pain and the assurance he'll leave her alone after the baby is born. Lie back and think of England in other words.

Mrs. Bennett has FIVE daughters. We know her to be very open and even vulgar. She married a very intelligent man who was in lust with her. I can imagine Mr. Bennett in his younger days was robust and passionate in his attentions to her. No matter how much he may tease her I can't see him being malicious in the bedroom to his still quite lovely wife.

No slur on those stories it's just something I've noticed to be common in P&P stories. Instead of Aunt Gardiner being the reassuring party I could see her being shocked along with her nieces at how open and informative Mrs. Bennett could be.

So with further undue.

The Night Before the Wedding

On the evening of the Bennett girl's double wedding it was with trepidation they watched their mother and Aunt Gardiner enter the room.

"Okay now girls gather around. It is time your mother told you what is it you'll have to expect tomorrow night."

Jane and Elizabeth sat down on their joint bed while their mother sat at the foot of the bed and their aunt took the chair before the dressing table.

"Now you are both fortunate to be marrying, as I did, an intelligent, passionate man. Especially you Lizzie, my goodness if Mr. Bennett still looked at me the way looks at you you girls might have gotten that brother. Not that Mr. Bingley is lacking in his affection to you dear Jane his attentions are completely unwavering which is to be admired but he is still very proper whereas Mr. Darcy looks at Elizabeth like he wants to devour her whole."

Mrs. Bennett giggled, "Oh I do hope Lizzie Mr. Darcy is the type to enjoy a nibble down there every now and then the pleasure is quite indescribable. Now where was I?"

The sisters looked at each other blushing. Lizzie ventured forth, "We are lucky to be marrying intelligent, passionate men?"

"Oh yes. And educated that is very important. I'm sure before they met you girls Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh with those women who make themselves available to gentlemen like themselves so you should have no worries that your husbands will be ignorant though if they are just remember what I've told you and you'll be able to guide them along. Now first off the way a man differs most extremely than in any other aspect from a woman is that between their legs they are completely different. The Good Lord made man and woman in such a way that they are to fit together. Woman is a vessel to be filled with man's...er...pleasure."

Mrs. Bennett tittered, "Not that there won't be pleasure for you though not at first. Indeed it is the women's sad lot in life that the first time must hurt but if your husbands are attentive soon the discomfort shall past and what has been opened up to you will be a world of pleasure you never dreamed existed. But I've gotten off track, where was I? Oh yes. Man is different down there between his legs. Instead of a slit he has a...well...it's called a penis but in true it looks rather like a thick meaty sausage."

Mrs. Bennett curled her fingers around like she was holding said sausage and shook it for emphasis. "Now at first you may be thinking, 'Oh my. It's so large and strange how is this ever to fit inside me, but I assure you it's fine. After all if a baby can come out of that passage and man's thick sausage will have no problems sliding it's way up there. Now it'll be tight at first and remember that pain I mentioned? Well the first time the man has to push his way through your maidenhead. When he does it will bleed and hurt but you just concentrate on your man and how much he loves you and I know the pain will pass soon. After that first time your body will adjust to your husband's lovely appendage and you'll get along famously."

Elizabeth and Jane looked shocked at their mother's vulgar and forthright explanation. A glance at their aunt revealed her to be wide eyed but smiling behind her fingers.

"Now about the man's sausage. He'll get a great deal of pleasure if you tug on it." Her hands mimicked a motion of sliding her hand up and down the imaginary sausage in her hands. "Or, and I know it sounds a bit odd but trust me there's no greater control a woman can have over a man, you could take him into your mouth and suck on him a bit. Though be warned sometimes he'll be overcome by your sucking or tugging that he'll spill his seed without warning onto your hands or into your mouth, the taste varies, so make sure you only do these activities where you can get cleaned up afterwards. Occasionally you may be feeling the need for your husband to take you to the bedroom and the surest way to get his attention is to rub against him a bit paying special attention to his sausage and I'm sure he'll whisk you right upstairs or in a pinch take you on top of his desk, or against the bookshelves or any number of other places. Just make sure you're excited enough for your slit to be moist and I promise it'll be enjoyable."

The girls now looked horrified. Had their mother and father really? In his book room and study? Where else?

"Oh don't look so shocked. Your father may have no respect for my nerves but he has never disappointed me in the bedroom. I am after all still quite the beauty." Mrs. Bennett primped. "And after all there are five of you girls. How did you think you came about? When Mr. Bennett and I were arguing? Hardly. He may tease me in public but I make him pay for it in the bedroom. I put that clever tongue of his to work on a very special apology, and you will too if you're smart about it. At the top of your slit is a delightful little button that will give you much pleasure if it's played with, or stroked or most especially if your husband gives you a very special kiss down there and plays with it with his tongue."

Elizabeth and Jane were absolutely frozen with shock. Even Lizzie was at a complete lost for words. Their poor aunt sat frozen as well.

"Well I'm sure you girls are well prepared now. Remember although it may hurt a bit at first if you'll just get past that you and your amorous young husbands will have quite a lot of fun. Now if you'll excuse me after all this talking about it I'm going to find your father for a bit of a refresher course myself." Mrs. Bennett smiled happily and nearly skipped out of the room.

Finally Jane and Elizabeth deflated in shock. Never in their young maiden lives had anyone ever spoken to them candidly about what happened between a man and a woman. Did all married women speak to each other like this? Surely not. Elizabeth recovered first and looked over at their aunt who was looking at the door Mrs. Bennett had exited through with a considering eye.

"Aunt is it true? Is everything she said true?"

Aunt Gardiner turned to her nieces with a smile, "I'll be honest with you Lizzie I think I learned some things tonight as well but yes what she said is true. It'll hurt at first but then it'll be quite pleasurable. Your husbands will be attentive to your pleasure and will try to make things go as smooth as possible. Now if you'll excuse me I think I need to go find your Uncle."

She swiftly left the room and Jane and Elizabeth to sleep and try very hard not to think about their parents and how there came to be five Bennett girls.

Everyone was very surprised, though none so much as Mr. Collins, when nine months after the Darcy-Bingley-Bennett wedding Mrs. Bennett gave birth to a long awaited son. He was a healthy and robust little boy absolutely doted on by his mother who despite her claims of nerves survived the pregnancy with her usual vigor. He was joined almost immediately by his nephews at Pemberley as all three women had their confinement together at that noble place. Mrs. Bennett was out of her bed, nursing her son with one arm and conducting her daughter's births like a general, soon after her own labor. If Mrs. Bennett enjoyed a much more respect and favor from her son-in-laws after she threw foolish doctors and midwives out of the room and finished each birth with alacrity and effectiveness well no one ever mentioned it. She encouraged her daughters to feed their sons from their own breasts despite the impropriety, which she had never much cared for, and if anyone offered any protest she simply turned to them with a superior tone that would not have been out of place if coming from a certain Lady in Kent.

"Did I or did I not raise five, extremely healthy and robust daughters? Did I or did I not survive six pregnancies with nary a bother? Who would seem to know more about birth and babies in this house than me? Propriety has it's place but birth and babies is not it. Get out."

She directed all five of her daughters, for even Lydia was in attendance though her husband was not, like a general while keeping up a running commentary on vulgar subjects not fit for maidenly ears. Mary seemed to be a permanent shade of red while Kitty tittered as they changed bedsheets, water, and wrapped tiny babies up to be given to their mothers.

Eventually Mrs. Bennett marched downstairs and into the gentlemen's study without even knocking. She deposited a sleeping bundle in her husband's arm and faced him with triumph. "Your son Mr. Bennett. It took me five and twenty years but finally you have a son. Fortunately my daughters had good instruction early on." She turned to face her shocked son-in-laws. "Your wives and sons are resting peacefully my boys. Go on upstairs but I warn you. No fooling around for at least a month. Their passages need time to heal but after that you can get started on giving me even more grandchildren."

Darcy and Bingley would have been shocked but the long confinement had endured them to Mrs. Bennett's unique disregard for propriety and instead they merely hurried upstairs.

"Cutting it a bit close aren't we?" Mr. Bennett asked as he over came his joy at the son he finally held in his arms.

"Well you can't expect me to do everything right the first time Mr. Bennett."


End file.
